Where does libido go and how to get it back?

Out of ten women who come to our reception, only 2-3 are satisfied with their sex life. And only a few people experience orgasm during intimacy at all. We will talk about the reasons for such statistics in a separate article, and here we will give these figures to say: the presence or absence of an orgasm almost does not affect your libido. Frankly speaking, even the presence or absence of your sexual life has little effect on libido. Then what does it depend on, why is it needed and why does it disappear? Let’s figure it out.

Libido is a sexual attraction that appears in a woman at the beginning of puberty and can (and normally should) persist even up to 120 years: there is no upper age limit here. It can occur without the presence of a partner, and in his presence, and already in the process of preliminary caresses: this is individual. Libido is a companion of a good physical and psychological state, general vitality, “burning eyes” and interest in life. But its absence or decline at any age is a reason to be wary. It can’t just disappear like that: there is a reason in any case, and it is possible that it is serious.


The main reasons are divided into two groups: psychological and medical. However, most often they are intertwined, and to help the patient, the doctor must first untangle this tangle. For example, after childbirth, some women’s pelvic floor muscles weaken, the vagina loses elasticity, stretches, friction during sexual intercourse becomes insufficient, characteristic sounds may appear. As a result, the woman begins to be shy, avoid contact, and her libido decreases. In this case, several sessions of intimate rejuvenation can correct the situation. But in general, it is more correct to solve psychological problems at least with the participation of a specialized specialist, so let’s focus on the medical side of the issue.

There are many medical reasons for a decrease in sexual desire, from banal overwork to serious hormonal problems. Female libido directly depends on the level of testosterone and magnesium: the lower these indicators, the less attraction. Why is magnesium falling? One of the most common causes is overwork or stress. In this case, along with magnesium, the level of cortisol (the so-called stress hormone) also changes, which causes an additional blow to libido. In addition, magnesium levels may decrease if you abuse alcohol, coffee and fatty foods, if you are on a strict diet, take antibiotics. By the way, magnesium is one of the most important trace elements and affects not only the level of sexual desire, so it would be good to check it at least once a year.

Let’s move on to testosterone. Strictly speaking, any change in the hormonal background can lead to a decrease in libido, but it is with a lack of testosterone that it is directly related. Testosterone deficiency can occur if you go on a strict diet, become a vegetarian or a raw food eater, if there are too many carbohydrates in your menu. The next items on the list are lack or excess of physical activity, obesity, neoplasms in the ovaries, stress and alcohol, which are already familiar to us, and, of course, any, even minor hormonal disruptions.

Do not forget about the natural cause of the drop in testosterone and other sex hormones – menopause. The decrease in libido in this case is only the beginning. It is often followed by a change in fat metabolism, rapid weight gain, rapid aging of the skin – in short, age-related changes. Therefore, if you notice a decrease in libido with age and think that it is inevitable – forget it. Firstly, not everyone’s libido decreases with age, and age itself cannot reduce libido in a healthy person: as I have already said, it can and should be preserved in both 80 and 90. Secondly, the most youthful, best-looking and feeling aged women are those who are genetically lucky to have a high and stable level of sex hormones even in menopause. Thirdly, today’s medicine can easily balance the hormonal background, mitigate the manifestations of menopause or even delay its onset. It is possible, necessary, easy and not dangerous to do this, but not using modern scientific achievements for the benefit of your own body is a real crime. You don’t refuse antibiotics, do you? Therefore, contact a competent endocrinologist at the first signs of menopause: I guarantee that you will not regret this decision.

Another common reason for a decrease in libido is hormonal contraceptives. We discussed in detail why they do not need to be afraid in the previous article, but still, some people’s libido really drops against the background of taking HC. And here we need to understand a few things. Firstly, this decrease is temporary. Secondly, it can often be corrected by a banal course of trace elements. Thirdly, there are different drugs, and not all affect libido, so it will not be difficult for a good doctor to find the right one for you.

Well, a separate item will mention the decrease in libido after childbirth: this happens quite often. One of the reasons is an increase in prolactin levels. The timing is very individual, but if the attraction has not recovered after a year– it is worth consulting a specialist.


I don’t know if this information will make you happy or upset, but there are no medical pathologies that increase libido. The so-called “uterine rabies” or nymphomania is a mental disorder, not an endocrine one. As for the phenomenon of “women after 35”, when, as is commonly believed, we reach the peak of sexuality, the explanation here is quite simple. By about 30-35 years of age, a woman’s hormonal background is finally leveled and becomes stable: childbirth often contributes to this. In addition, at this age, a woman becomes more stable emotionally. Most often, she already has a career behind her, her views on the world have been formed, she has accepted herself, her body and does not think how her breasts look during sex and whether cellulite is visible. This means that she can simply get more pleasure from the process. Such is the explanation.

As for the ways to artificially increase libido (both female and male), I have to disappoint: they do not exist yet. Even Viagra does not increase libido, but only solves problems with potency. It is assumed that if the patient wanted to solve them, then he still has a libido. Of course, there are aphrodisiac products that affect the production of dopamine. These are, for example, oysters, pumpkin, persimmon. But for at least some noticeable effect, you will have to eat a lot of them.

Therefore, if your libido has increased by itself, rejoice. This may mean that your hormonal background has stabilized, that you have recovered from stress or overwork, or that a loved one has appeared next to you


  1. Decreased libido is always a symptom of something more. If you feel it, go to an endocrinologist as soon as possible. At a minimum, it definitely won’t hurt to take tests, but it can help to identify hormonal problems, early menopause, incorrectly selected HC, inappropriate lifestyle, ovarian diseases and much more in time.
  2.  Libido is not just about sex. In a broad sense, it is synonymous with youth. Take care of his recovery, and it is very likely that after a banal course of vitamins and trace elements, you will feel a completely different quality of life both physically and emotionally.
  3.  Decreased attraction with age is a myth. In a healthy person, libido persists at any age.
  4.  If you think that your libido has always been low, or if it seems to you that it has decreased because you are bored with a partner – make an appointment with a good endocrinologist. There are very likely a lot of surprises waiting for you.
  5.  Ways to correct the hormonal background and return libido – mass. These are drugs with testosterone and drugs that affect its production, as well as supplements with magnesium and much more. But only a doctor can prescribe them and only after tests for hormones and trace elements. And please, never try to interpret the results of your analyses yourself. The boundaries of the so-called “norm” are very conditional, individual and depend on the ratio of different indicators.

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